


240 - Flight Attendant

by storiesaboutvan



Category: Catfish and the Bottlemen (Band)
Genre: Cute meet, F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 17:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17390396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesaboutvan/pseuds/storiesaboutvan
Summary: Filling the prompt “one fic where the reader is an flight attendant”





	240 - Flight Attendant

"Just a quick question, love?"

Your divided attention split once more and you looked at the person speaking to you. He had curly hair tamed by a hat. The blank expression on his face gave you no indicator of personality nor intent.

"How can I help?"

"Just wondering if I could pop out for a quick smoke?"

There it was - a micro expression, but an expression nonetheless. A hint of a smirk. The boy next to him in a Star Wars t-shirt watched for your reaction. Against the window was a third boy, filming on his phone. He clearly thought he was being stealthy about that, but you could see what he… they… were up to.

It hadn't been long since the plane had taken off. That and the fact you were 35,000 feet in the air, meant it was impossible to pop out for a quick smoke. How to reply, then? How to play the game?

Alas, no need.

"Sorry, Miss. Just ignore him. Just stirrin' the pot, he is," said a voice from across the small aisle.

Turning, you looked at him. They were all friends. You'd seen the group of young guys board the plane and take their assigned seats. They'd been surprisingly quiet through the safety demonstration, but they'd not paid attention. Most were sorting out headphone cables and books. Frequent flyers. A band, maybe.

"Fun police," the hatted one muttered, and withdraw his attention from you.

You smiled at the fun police, polite, professional.

"Um. I'm Van," he said.

"Van. I hope you enjoy the flight. Let me know if I can get you anything," you replied with a smirk. He was fishing for your name, but you knew better to take the bait. Nothing in the flight attendant hand book about having to give it out anyway.

Back behind the curtain, out of view of the passengers, your co-worker Tahlie laughed. "Reckon they're gonna give us hell?" she asked.

You shrugged and peaked behind the ugly red material. The boys all seemed settled. "Nah, we'll be right."

…

"You want to use the speaker phone?"

"Yeah!" Van confirmed, nodding enthusiastically. "I can just yell, I guess. Got a good voice for projection,"

"Ah, no. Please don't yell… Let me just… check…"

By 'check' you didn't really mean check. You meant 'let me just tell the pilots what idiot request I just got.' In the cockpit, they both seemed a little speechless, then Jess laughed.

"Well, it's obviously Bohemian Rhapsody, right?" she said.

"Yeah. Y/N, let him do it. I wanna see what people say," Jess' co-pilot added.

Unbelievable.

Van followed you down the aisle to where the phone was. You showed him how to work it, and he grinned hard before clearing his throat dramatically.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking," he started. He was visible to the rest of the people in the cabin, therefore clearly not the captain. People watched him amused and interested. "We're runnin' a little survey today. Best karaoke song. Got it down to being between Bohemian Rhapsody and literally any other song. Could we have a show of hands for anything not Queen." From mid-way down the aisle, one of Van's friends counted the hands up. "And hands up for our mate Freddie." It was a landslide. Van cackled with laughter and his friend looked defeated. "Thank you very much. Enjoy ya flight."

As his friend approached, he shook his head at Van. "I just don't believe it," he said.

"Well, mate, that was as scientific as it comes. The people have spoken. Can't beat Freddie," Van replied. There was a sparkle in his eye that told you he liked to win. He gently bumped his shoulder against yours then. "Thanks for that, love."

…

"I'm so fucking sorry," Van said, getting onto his knees to try to pick all of the peanuts up by hand. They were scattered under his seat and under the seats of the people around him. His friends seemed amused at both his clumsiness and his subsequent embarrassment.

"It's fine. Happens all the time. Here. You don't need-" you replied, taking his arm and pulling him up off the ground.

He stood in front of you, big eyes watching you and cheeks blushing hard. "I'm sorry,"

"You don't need to keep saying sorry. They're peanuts. It's fine. I'll get the vacuum."

Van insisted on doing it, so you watched from the front of the cabin as he used the little hand held vacuum to suck up all the peanuts. When he was done, he climbed over one friend to get to another in order to vacuum his shirt. He vacuumed the hat of the smoker, and he tried to vacuum the fuzzy hair of the boy in the Star Wars shirt. That elicited a shrill yelp, followed by hysterical laughter from them all. Van walked down the aisle and handed the machine over.

"All good? Everything clean and tidy?" you asked with a smirk.

"Not everything. Some things ain't ever gonna be clean. Bondy's mind. Larry's headband. You know? But yeah. And I promise to not make any more mess," he answered.

"That would be fantastic. Thank you."

…

"Ah, Miss?" Van asked as you walked past on your way to a mother nursing a screaming baby. You were going to see if there was anything you could do or get her to help.

"I'll be back in one minute, Sir," you said to him automatically.

"Are you going to the baby though?" he quickly blurted out. You turned at looked down at him. "It's just that I'm real good with kids and babies and stuff, innit? So maybe-"

"That's real sweet, but a bit weird," you told him. He thought for a second then nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess."

He turned back the right way in his seat and you continued on down the aisle. You smiled at the mother as you crouched down next to her.

"Is there anything I can get for you or baby?" you asked.

"I'm sorry! I'm-" she went to apologise.

"Oh, no, no, no. No worries. Honestly just want to help out," you said with a nod. The mother was travelling alone, and you guessed it was the first time she had taken the baby on a plane.

"Actually, I really need to pee. Could you maybe…"

"Can I?!" an enthusiastic and familiar voice asked. You looked up at Van, who had arrived next to you at some point. You stood, and looked at him with the same confused expression as the mother had on her face.

"You're the karaoke boy," the mother stated.

"Van. I'm Van. I love kids. I'll just bounce him up and down the aisle for a bit?"

The mother looked from Van to you, and all you could do was shrug.

"Ah… you'll keep an eye on him?" she asked you.

"Me and everyone else on board, yes,"

"Okay. Well. Ah, she's not a he. She. Her name is Alice. She's six months," the mother said, standing and handing over the crying infant to Van.

Like he was born to do it, he took Alice and bounced her on his hip as she cried. The mother sighed and walked off to the toilets. You predicted she'd spend as long as she could in there. Maybe she'd even have a power nap, and really, you didn't blame her.

As you and Tahlie wheeled the drinks and snacks trolley up and down one aisle, Van carried Alice up and down the other. Within minutes she had stopped crying and the relief was visible all across the cabin. Not only had Van entertained them earlier, but now he was saving them from the sad screeches of a baby. Everyone's hero. When you needed the aisle he was patrolling, you sent him to the other.

"Did you want anything?" you asked him.

"Ah, yeah. Just a water, thank you," he answered with most of his attention still on the baby. People were watching him with gooey smiles on their faces.

"You sure? All your mates are drinking."

Van looked over at his friends and grinned. He shrugged. "Yeah, I'm good. Thank you."

The mother had returned to her seat by the time you got to her with the trolley. She had a cup of tea and chocolate bar and sadly said, "Guess I should get my kid,"

"He doesn't seem bored or tired of her," you replied, looking over at Van.

When the trolley was put away, Van returned to the mother and asked for an extended play date. He sat down in the aisle and asked you to sit at the other end. Your dress wouldn't let you, but you could kneel and sit back on your legs. Van rolled one of Alice's toy balls to you, and you watched Alice happily crawl along the floor to you. You and Van played with the baby for a long time, before she got tired and refused to move. Returned to her mother's lap for food and a nap, you said goodbye to her and watched the mother thank Van with sincere gratitude.

"Absolutely my pleasure, love," he said to her, then returned to his drunk friends.

You went behind the curtain to restock the trolley with Tahlie.

"So… he's got good taste in music, he feels bad for making a mess, and he's good with kids. And let's not forget that he's dead cute too," she said.

"What's your point?"

"My point is, have you felt his t-shirt yet? I think it's made of boyfriend material."

You snorted and rolled your eyes at her. "Really?"

"Oh, really."

…

"And then I was like 'just a bag'a potatoes, ya dickhead' and then he took a swing, see, so I took a swing but I missed 'cause I was well on the piss, and then me best mate Lou was there, ah, Louie… Louieeeeeeee. And he had the potatoes and this dickhead weren't happy…" and the guy paused to take another gulp of his drink. His story was essentially incomprehensible, but he was wonderful to watch drunk. His friends were all watching too, and they probably had bets on how long you could stand there before getting annoyed or bored.

"Bond… where's this story goin', mate?" Van asked from across the aisle. You held back a smirk.

"Ah-ah!" his friend, Bond? said with a wriggle of his finger. "Fuck off, McCann. Cannot monopolise all this lass' time. Anyway. Where was we?"

"Lou," you prompted.

"Lou! God, I love Lou. Where is Lou?" he asked, directing his question to the guy next to him. Star Wars shirt shrugged.

"Is that the end of the story?" you asked, drawing his attention back to you. He looked at you carefully and he had obviously forgotten what he was talking about. He narrowed his eyes and smiled. It was beautiful. He was a hot mess and very, very entertaining.

"Yeah. Yep. That's it,"

"That was a beautiful story. Thank you for telling me,"

"You takin' the piss?!" he asked, voice raised, causing people to look in his direction.

"Hush. Can't yell. Got women and children on board, thank you very much," you said.

"Don't be sexist, love. I ain't a woman and I'm still offended by the shit coming from his mouth," Van said. You chuckled and nodded. You'd pay that one.

"Alright. For the sake of everyone, let's keep our voices down and our language as clean as possible, yeah? That is what I came over here to tell you," you said. It was true. You weren't entirely sure how you got to the point of listening to a story about a bar fight and bags of potatoes and a boy named Lou that this Bond guy clearly loved with all his strange, hat-wearing heart.

All the guys nodded like scolded children in a classroom; all but Van, who looked smug in his sobriety and grinned up at you with dimples and all.

…

"Whaddamean?"

"I mean what I said. I'm cutting you off. And if the rest of you aren't careful, you'll be next. I think maybe you should move on to juice and water anyhow," you said.

His name was Johnny Bond but his friends called him Bondy, for the most part. He had been mostly amusing, but as he climbed over a seat to get to his friend in front of him, his friend with curly hair and glasses and an expression that said he did not want to be climbed on, he went a step too far. It was probably only a two on his scale, but still.

"You don't love me anymore," he said in a salty tone as he sat down.

"You good?" you asked the guy with glasses. He nodded and smiled and wow, was that sunshine.

"Sideshow's fiiiiiiiiiiine, love. Love! You don't love me anymore! Sick of my shit! Leave me, like all women do!"

The others laughed.

"I'll always love you, but I'll love you more if you stay in your seat and be nice and quiet, yeah? It's almost time for a nap anyway,"

"You just want me to be all fuckin' goody two shoes like Vaniel," Bondy went on, dramatically throwing his arms around.

"You ain't a thing like me. Now just sit the fuck down and stop makin' her job hard," Van said from behind you. Bondy ignored him entirely.

"Settle petal, okay?" you said, looking directly at Bondy. He smirked and nodded, and that was that. They all stopped drinking and settled down. Thank the lord.

As you walked away from the group, Van caught your eye and smiled. Ugh.

…

In the back of the headrests, movies played and lulled all the passengers into a sleepy mood. You and Tahlie served tea and biscuits. When that was done and you were back behind the curtain blowing on your own hot mugs of tea, there was a little knock on plastic door frame. Van's head poked through.

"Hi," he said, his voice quieter than it had previously been.

"I might just go check if that baby needs another blanket or something," Tahlie suddenly said, excusing herself.

"Can I?" Van asked, pointing in the room.

"Well, technically no, but sure," you replied. He smiled and took Tahlie's seat. He was nursing the cup of tea you'd made for him.

"Everyone is falling asleep," he told you.

"I think you mean they're passing out."

Van laughed and nodded. "Yeah. 'Bout right. Sorry 'bout them causing trouble,"

"Oh, no, it's fine. They weren't that bad at all. I was just messing with Bond. Kinda love him,"

"Should I be jealous?" he asked with a smirk, then sipped his tea.

"Oh, yeah, totally. It just so happens that drunk rambling is incredibly hot, you know? And when I saw him spit in the other one's drink I was just like 'jesus, fuck me already,' you know?"

Van laughed hard and you could see the shock in his face. "Think I could get you fired for making them type of comments about passengers. Not very professional, love," he said. You shrugged. There was a moment of quiet and you looked through the curtain. Tahlie was pulling pillows and blankets out for people. Window shutters were being closed and movies were being turned off.

"You better go claim your nap space," you said, standing.

Van nodded and followed you out into the cabin.

"What's your name?" he asked suddenly.

For a second you thought of saying something funny, but you didn't. You wanted him to have your name. "Y/N." He nodded again and took his seat.

…

Van and his friends were all dead to the world. The alcohol had knocked them out, and Van seemed like the type of excitable person that caught sleep wherever he could to make up for his probable-sleepless nights. This theory was somewhat based on your assumption that they were a band on tour.

As you watched them sleep and pretended you weren't doing just that, the one next to Van woke up in a sneezing fit. He had a headband on and long hair and it all shook around as his head moved back and forth with each sneeze. You quickly walked over a small pack of tissues and handed it to the guy.

"Thanks," he said.

"Can I get you anything?"

"Nah. Just get allergies on long flights. Trapped air or something, I don't know," he told you. You nodded and carefully leaned over Van to tuck the guy's blanket up around him again. He smiled and settled back in.

"Me too," Van whispered as you stood up straight. You looked down at him. Sleepy and barely awake. "Tuck me in?" he asked again.

You would have laughed except he wasn't joking. So, you gently covered him with his blanket and leaned down and kissed his forehead. There were a billion rules in your contract that forbid behaviour like that, but… fuck it.

…

The mother and Alice de-boarded the plane. "Thank you so much," the mother said.

"You're very welcome," you replied with a smile. You'd reapplied your bright red lipstick as people slept, reminded to do so by the mark you'd left on Van's skin.

People climbed down the stairs happy to be on land, happy to be at their destination. The plane was almost empty. Then, Van's friends. First, the two that had caused no trouble. Not a stir, nor ripple. Then, Star Wars shirt. He grinned.

"Thank you!" he beamed.

"You're welcome."

You had an urge to hug him, but that would be weird. Then, Bondy was next, and he pulled you into a hug and spun you around.

"Love. It's been class. Stay beautiful, yeah?"

"Yeah, sure," you replied deadpan.

He waved back as he climbed down the stairs. "You fuckin' love me!"

Then the one with glasses, who apologised and said thank you. After him, the sneezing boy that seemed to track Van's whereabouts wherever was in the cabin.

"Thanks, love," he said and held his hand up for a high five.

"All good," you replied.

Lucky last out of the plane was Van. He smiled and looked sad more than anything else.

"Ah, thanks heaps for lookin' out for us. For me,"

"It's just a plane ride… Just doing my job," you replied with a shrug.

"You're real good at it though,"

"Well, guess I like it, so… What do you do?" you asked, fingers crossed behind your back.

"Oh! We're a band. On tour!" he answered happily.

"Van! Come on!" his friend called from the tarmac. Van hesitated, not sure what to do. There would be no point in asking for your number if you lived nowhere near him. Maybe there was no point even if you did. Between a touring musician and a travelling flight attendant, where would there be time for a relationship? "Van!"

"Yeah! Coming!" he called back. "Well… Hopefully we catch another of your flights soon," he said.

You nodded. "Yeah. Hopefully," you agreed.

Quickly, Van leaned in and kissed your cheek. It hurt. The goodbye hurt.

Tahlie said nothing as you gave the cabin a once over. You walked with her through the terminal and out to the taxi rank.

"They got us in that good hotel again. Always surprised they don't just stack us in cheap pay-by-the-hour joints, you know?" she said as she read the itinerary email. You always liked the longer flights because you liked staying in hotels. People always assumed you got to see all the cities you flew to, but that was mostly untrue. It was just the inside of hotels that you were well acquainted with.

"Do you think I should have said something?"

"Huh?" she asked, as she nodded at the taxi driver and put her suitcase and yours in the trunk of the car. You followed her into it. Side by side on the backseat, you rested your head on her shoulder.

"Van. Should I have-"

"Maybe. Did you ask if he was in a band?" You nodded. "And he is?" You nodded again. "See? That would be hard. I don't know…"

"Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right," you said and sighed.

The rest of the short trip was silent, save for the foreign radio station and heavy hum of the car. Out the front of the hotel, you unloaded the two suitcases as Tahlie paid the driver.

"Need a hand?" a familiar voice asked. You spun on the spot and could feel the smile split your face.


End file.
